The Caring Grave Gardener

Not sure whether to opt for a one-off grave care service or a regular grave tending service? We highlight the benefits of annual / one-off grave care vs regular grave tending services.

Annual / one-off grave tidy up benefits:

• Grave appearance – for a limited time the grave's appearance is significantly improved with regard to a clean headstone, weeds removed and borders tidied.
• Natural damage reporting – natural damage concerns can be raised e.g. the condition of the gravestone, fallen lanterns.
• Cost – a one-off grave tidy is the cheapest option.
• Commemoration – a one-off grave tidy is ideal for commemorating for example, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas...
• Digital Images – if you can't visit the grave you can see it (before and after the tidy-up).

Regular grave care benefits:

• Grave appearance – with a regular grave care service the grave will look cared for throughout the year.
• Natural damage reporting – any concerns regarding e.g. the condition of the gravestone can be reported on a regular basis.
• Cost – we offer a 10% discount on our regular grave tending service for 4 annual visits or more.
• Peace of mind - if you can not visit as frequently as you would like to, then subscribing to a regular grave tending service is more practical and comforting, avoiding bare soil or the inevitable weeds and leaves which will cover the ground after an annual grave tidy service.
• Nurture – if special plants have been planted in the grave's plot they will require nurturing throughout the year.
• Digital Images – if you can't visit the grave you can see it throughout the year and at your loved one's birthday and anniversaries.

We are here to make your loved one's grave a place of warm remembrance. Would you like to discuss our services?

We'd like to hear from you

The most natural and safest way to clean a headstone is by cleaning it with water. Gravestones can contain cracks, particularly old headstones, that could be exacerbated by some cleaning methods. The following headstone cleaning methods could damage your headstone:

• Chemical cleaning agents e.g. bleach - as headstones are porous, chemicals can seep inside of the stone and cause corrosion.
• Acidic cleaning agents e.g vinegar or lemon detergents - will eat away at the headstone surface.
• Abrasive cleaning agents and tools (e.g. brushes) - can scratch the gravestone and exacerbate subsurface cracks.
• Pressure washers - the highly pressurised water can remove the outer surface of the stone and expose the soft interior pores of the stone to the outside elements. For older headstones the intense pressurised water may cause pieces to fall, flake or break off.

We will use only water and a soft cloth to wipe gently the grave’s headstone. Leaves, twigs will be removed by hand before cleaning.

Yes! A grave plot is suitable for planting.

You are allowed to plant in your grave plot though some cemeteries may have restrictions which you will need to follow. Moreover, the environmental conditions of your grave plot will affect what plants will grow there - soil, light/shade, exposure, aspect and drainage. We can recommend plants that should do well in the existing conditions and make some improvements to the soil to help new plants establish. We can also advise on the suitability of any plants you would like to have in memory of your loved one.

Soil pH is the measurement of the acidity of your soil. This affects the minerals contained in your grave's soil and their availability to your plants. In general, the closer to neutral your soil is, the better your plants will be able to take up these minerals, including phosphorus which is soluble in neutral and is taken up by plant roots.

How to Test Soil Acidity / Alkalinity

• Scoop some soil into a container and then, add 1/2 cup of vinegar. If the soil fizzes or bubbles - the soil is alkaline. For alkaline soil try adding pine needles or sulphur to your soil.
• If no reaction occurs, scoop a fresh soil sample into a second container. Add half a cup of water, and mix. Then, add 1/2 cup of baking soda. If the soil fizzes or bubbles - the soil is acidic. For acidic soil try adding lime or wood ash to your soil.
• If your soil doesn't react to the tests above, it has a neutral pH which plants like.

• Trees - are not permitted; although there might be other locations where a memorial tree can be planted within the cemtery.
• Height Limit - there is usually a height limit for graveside plants of 2 feet (c. 60cm) so that they do not overshadow neighbouring graves. This still allows a vast choice of potential plants.
• Plant spread - to avoid your plants becoming invasive to neighbouring plots and interfering with the cemetery's upkeep, the spread of plants should be kept in check by careful pruning or thinning.

Factors to consider when selecting plants to grow on a grave plot:

• Cemetery guidelines - most cemeteries have guidelines about what sizes and types of plants are allowed, for example trees or shrubs can become too large or unruly over time. Moreover, the cemetery maintenance crews have to be able to work around your plants without damaging them or causing more work.
• Type of soil:
  • Clay soil: has tiny particles that stick together, forming large clumps. While clay soil tends to be of higher fertility than other soil types, it is not optimal for planting because its texture makes it very difficult for plant roots to work their way into it.
  • Sandy soil: often drains too quickly and is less able to retain nutrients.
  • Loam soil: is crumbly, full of organic matter, retains moisture yet still drains well. This is an ideal planting soil.
• Climate - review where your grave is located for e.g. the light levels (is the grave mostly in the shade or sun), moisture availability, wind levels... This will affect the types of plants which can or cannot flourish there.
• Space – will be limited and restricted by the cemetery guidelines yet you can still make it wonderful. Be aware that some council grass cutters may go very close to the plot.
• Plant Height - some plants may be too tall to plant at your grave as they could overshadow the gravestone so go for plants less than 2 metres in height.
• Perennial & Annual flowers - Perennial plants which grow year after year will provide the grave with seasonal colour. Annual flowers flower within one year; they tend to require more frequent watering. Perennials and annuals can be combined in the one plot.
• Seasonality - is a great way to keep the grave plot interesting with a variety of plants which start appearing and flowering throughout the year such as Spring bulbs, Summer perennials, through to hardy Winter plants.
• Planting themes – did your loved one have a favourite passion or fond characteristic? Planting themes can be wild, herbaceous, fragrant, romantic cottagy, wildlife-friendly, contemporary, formal...
• Memories – did your loved one have a favourite plant, flower scent, season, colour? Is there a plant which reminds you of them? Is there a favourite flower you remember from their garden or going away them?
• Wildlife - avoid planting plants which can attract squirrels, rabbits, birds... For sure some wee rascals have eaten some of my (Trischi's) bulbs and nibbled the plant leaves.
• Free-standing potted plants - I personally would avoid potted plants as Edinburgh is very windy and my potted Christmas poinsettia never stands up for long.

Did you know? The tradition of laying flowers at a grave originates from ancient Greeks who placed flowers on warriors’ graves. It was thought that if flowers grew on the grave, the warrior had moved on and found happiness in the next world and they were sending a message to say so.

These are just a few examples of the best seasonal grave plants:

• The best Spring plants for graves: Crocuses, Tete-a-Tete Mini Daffodils, Snow Drops...
• The best Summer plants for graves: Carnations, Geraniums, Irises...
• The best Autumn plants for graves: Begonias, Bowden Lily, Michelmas Daisies...
• The best Christmas / Winter plants for graves: Christmas Rose, Cyclamen, Winter Heather...

We have plenty more ideas for the best seasonal plants for your loved one's grave. Do check out our Grave Flowers & Plants Ideas below, and our Insta photographs and The Caring Grave Gardener's Pinterest pin boards with more graveside flowers and plants ideas.

Which are the best scented plants? These are just a few examples of the best scented plants:

• Dwarf Lilac - grow to a height of circa 1.2m and spread of 1.5m
• Dwarf Mock Orange - grow to a height of circa 80cm and spread of 1.5m
• Gardenias - are indoor plants and grow to a height of circa 60cm and spread of 2m.
• Hyacinths - grow to a height of up to 25cm
• Iris - grow to a height of circa 90cm - 1.2m and spread of 30cm - 60cm
• Lavender - grow to a height of circa 60cm and spread of 60cm
• Lilies - grow to a height of circa 70cm
• Lily of the Valley - grow to a height of circa 30cm
• Mint - grow to a height of circa 50cm
• Nicotiana - grow to a height of circa 50cm and spread of 30cm
• Peonies - grow to a height of circa 70cm and spread of 90cm
• Rhododendrons - grow to a height of circa 1.8m and spread of 1.5m
• Rosemary - grow to a height of circa 20cm and spread of 15cm
• Virburnum - grow to a height of circa 60cm and spread of 40cm
• Honeysuckle - grow to a height of between 1-4 metres
• Jasmine - grow to a height of circa 5m and spread of 5m
• Sweet Pea - grow to a height of circa 2m and spread of 1.80m

Why choose scented plants for your grave plot? It may be very sad visiting a family grave / a grave. Seeing the grave plot in flower and smelling fragrant flowers may relieve slightly, the sadness of that visit. Moreover, scent can evocate memories of your loved one. Did your loved on have a favourite scent? For a grave plot, when choosing scented plants do consider the general 2m height limit (for cemetry regulations and, not to overshadow the treasured grave stone/headstone).

There are no rules about what flowers can be placed on a grave. There might be flowers which were a favourite of your loved one or which have special meaning for you. Flowers can relay symbolism, which is very important for remembrance. When choosing flowers to leave at your grave, just let your heart be your guide.

• Beautiful spirit - Larkspur
• Delicate beauty - Orchid
• Devotion - Edelweiss, Lavender, Honeysuckle
• Forget-Me-Not - Forget-Me-Nots
• Friendship - pink Roses, Zinnias
• Immortality of the soul - Wreaths
• Lamentation - white Chrysanthemums, dark crimson Roses
• Loyalty - Violets
• Love, declaration - red Tulips
• Love, eternal - Heliotropes
• Love, passionate - red Roses
• Love, sweet - White Jasmine
• Please forgive me - Purple Hyacinths
• Pray for me - Verbenas
• Purity - white Roses
• Respect - Irises
• Thank-you - Sweet Peas
• Thinking of you - White Clovers
• Veterans - Scarlet Corn Poppies

Which flowers to lay on a grave, on days of remembrance and special occassions?

• All Saints Day - white Lilies, colourful Peonies, Tulips, Roses
• All Souls Day - Lilies, Roses
• Chrismas - Chrismas wreath
• Day Of The Dead - Marigolds (Cempasuchil), Baby’s Breath, Hoary Stock, Cockscomb, Gladiolus, Chrysanthemums
• Easter - Pasque flower (derived from the Hebrew word for Passover, "pasakh"
• Mother's Day - Daylilies (filial devotion to a Mother), white Carnations
• Father's Day - white Roses to honor a deceased Father
• Remembrance Day - Scarlet Corn Poppies, red Carnations
• Wedding Anniversary - Calla Lilies

And grave flowers to perhaps avoid as they have negative meanings:

• Daffodils - denote new beginnings
• Peonies / Petunias - in Victorian times Peonies represented anger
• Rhododendrons - indicate beware, as their leaves are poisonous
• Snapdragons - deception
• Striped Carnations - in Victorian times striped Carnations conveyed rejection or refusal
• Orange Lilies - hate, pride, and disdain.
• Yellow Carnations - in Victorian times yellow Carnations conveyed disdain
• and... petrol station flowers!

Do check out our Grave Flowers & Plants Ideas below, and our Insta photographs and The Caring Grave Gardener's Pinterest pin boards with more graveside flowers and plants ideas.

Here are some tips on how to keep your cut flowers last a bit longer on a grave:

• Vases - purchasing and placing your flowers in a memorial grave flower vase will provide your flowers with much needed water.
• Pre Grave Visit Preparation - place the stems of your flowers in deep water and leave them there for a few hours before visiting the grave.
• Leaves - remove all leaves from the part of the stem that will submerged in water. The bacteria from leaves that decay underwater can build up to plug the ends of the flower stems and prevent them from absorbing water.
• Fizzy Lemonade - add a small glass of fizzy lemonade in the water before adding your flowers. The mix of acid and sugar helps to stop bacteria and therefore helps make the blossoms last longer.
• Sugar - add a spoonful of sugar in the water before adding your flowers will nourish the flowers.
• Copper Coin - add a copper penny and a spoonful of sugar to the memorial vase water. The copper in pennies acts like an acidifier, which prevents the growth of bacteria.
• Aspirin - crush an aspirin in the water before adding your flowers will nourish the flowers.

Rarely, when you arrive at your grave plot, you may discover that your fresh cut flowers are missing. Wildlife and wind are the key most commonest culprits. Headstone saddles are designed to clamp on the the top of a headstone and hold the flower arrangement in place. On some metal arms of the saddle, the arms aren't strong enough to make that tight of a clamp, so the saddle can still be blown away on a gusty wind. There are some options to keep cemetery flowers from blowing away:

• Bespoke cemetery vases with inbuilt styrofoam
• Cemetery vases with a lid which features multiple, circular holes designed specifically for holding floral arrangements.
• Headstone Flower Anchor - The best way to to keep cemetery bouquet from blowing away is by securing them with a Headstone Flower Anchor. The flower anchor is designed to be used on saddle arrangements to secure them to the stone, but can be easily used to secure a wreath or other flower arrangements. The Headstone Flower Anchor is attached to the stone with a high-bonding tape designed to be used on masonry. It has a thin, aircraft grade wire loop, and then a clip on the other end. The clip is designed to clip on to the metal saddle and once attached to the stone, and clipped to the flowers, you have a tether that is secured to the grave marker.

You should have both cut flowers and planted flowers on a grave! But there are some really good reasons to grow plants on your loved one's grave.

• Longevity – cut flowers last only a few days whereas plants can flower over many weeks or months. Moreover, dead cut flowers look so sad on a grave while plants' foliage can provide colour and plant coverage when flowering is over.
• Cost – growing plants on your grave in the long run would cost less than it would to regularly buy and lay cut flowers.
• Grave appearance - if you can not visit as frequently as you wish to, then having plants grow on your loved ones' grave is more comforting than a grave plot which comprises bare soil or is covered in weeds.
• Pleasure – growing plants on the grave plot and seeing them flourish can take us away from the world of sorrow and sadness of visiting the grave and celebrates the living memory of your much missed loved one.
• Environmental benefits – growing plants can benefit the environment and wildlife.

For an extra personal touch you may consider to install grave edging to create a contained and garden-like effect. There are many types of grave edging comprising bamboo, Fleur-de-lys, pebbles, glow in the dark stones, log roll, metal mini fencing, miniature picket fencing, sawtooth brick, (concrete) victorian rope, weave...

Check out more grave edging ideas on our pinterest board.

Apart from leaving customery flowers at a grave, other remembrance objects can be left at a grave, including a:

• Christmas Wreath - in Germany Christmas wreaths are placed on graves which relay the missing of the loved one during Christmas. The Christmas wreaths can comprise: pine branches, red berries, pine cones, red ribbons and holly.
• Evergreen Grave Blanket - a Scandinavian tradition, is a woven arrangement of greenery that covers the grave's plot during the winter months or at Christmas. A Grave Blanket is typically made from the boughs of evergreens intertwined with pine cones, Gypsophila (Baby’s Breath) flowers, and at Christmas, with ribbons. During winter months few plants flower and foliage is withered so a Grave Blanket will cheer up a grave at Christmas.
• Coin - leaving a coin at a grave is meant as a message to the deceased soldier's family that someone else has visited the grave to pay respect.
• Remembrance Cross - a remembrance cross is a small plywood cross with a red crimped paper poppy in the centre with the words 'In Remembrance' printed below which is used to remember the sacrifice of the UK armed forces, particularly during Remembrance, held every year in November. One can also place a Poppy Wreath at an armed forces grave. Where can you buy a Remembrance Cross or Poppy Wreath from? Both the Remembrance Cross and Poppy Wreath can be purchased from Lady Haig's Poppy Factory, Edinburgh.
• Stone - leaving a stone at a grave is a common Jewish cemetery custom which is a symbolic gesture from the visitor to say to the loved one, "I remember you..."
• Islamic prayer plaque - leaving a Prayer plaque at a grave is a common Muslim cemetery custom

One of our clients has very kindly outlined some Islamic cemetery customs:

• A Muslim grave should be perpendicular to Mecca, with the deceased's body positioned so their right side faces the Islamic holy city.
• When visiting a Muslim cemetery, upon entering, one should make a prayer for all the people who are buried there.
• The Sunnah, is to raise the grave at least one hand above the ground so it is known that it is a grave. It is forbidden to raise it more than that.
• One should not mark the borders of a Muslim grave, there are some people who put stones around it and bricks to house it - this is forbidden.
• It is permissible to place a mark, such as a stone or a piece of wood, over a grave so that it can be recognised. The stone should be small and not big as it is heavy, and placed at the head of the dweller.
• It is not permissible to place lights on a Muslim grave or entice a structure on it.
• It is not permissible to sit on a Muslim grave, lean on it or walk over it.

Some of the reasons our clients choose to use our Grave Care service include:

• Older clients who are physically unable to visit the grave of a loved one or unable to tidy the grave.
• Clients who live too far away from the grave plot.
• Clients who find it emotionally too sad to visit the gravesite but find solace knowing their loved ones resting place is taken care of.
• Clients whose work schedules and busy lives do not allow them to visit and care for the grave as often as they would wish.
• Family and friends who would like a floral tribute delivered on a special day or time of year such as anniversary or a birthday, Mother's Day/Father's day, Christmas...
• Those who wish to appreciate attending the gravesite but would prefer experts to tend the grave.

For whichever reason, our clients find peace and solace knowing their loved ones are taken care of.

Our grave tending service covers all Edinburgh cemeteries, including:

Colinton Cemetery | Comely Bank Cemetery | Corstorphine Hill Cemetery | Craigmillar Castle Park Cemetery | Dalry Cemetery | East Preston Street Burial Ground | Eastern Cemetery Edinburgh | Grange Cemetery | Jewish Cemetery Sciennes House Place | Kirkliston Cemetery | Liberton Cemetery | Morningside Cemetery | Mount Vernon Cemetery | New Calton Burial Ground | Newington Cemetery | Niddrie Marishal Burial Ground | North Leith Burial Ground | North Merchiston Cemetery | Old Calton Burial Ground | Portobello Cemetery | Ratho Cemetery | Rosebank Cemetery | Saughton Cemetery | South Queensferry Cemetery | Warriston Cemetery.

Don't worry!

• Grave Location:
  • Vague location - we will do everything we can to locate the grave based on the information you provide use. The more information you can provide us the better, for example the section of the cemetry and or plot number.
  • Unknown location - where you have no information with regard to where the grave is located within a cemetry, we will have to charge you a one-off fee to try to the locate grave.
• Grave condition - It is normal for an unkept grave to become overgrown. For a one-off fee of £20 we can visit the grave to undertake an assessment and report back to you attaching graveside photographs which will prove useful for planting suggestions. Please be aware that headstones will weather with time and if there is extensive damage to the headstone we will include this in the report.

As you wish! We offer one-off grave tending services and annual, quarterly, bi-monthly, monthtly grave care. For quarterly grave care vists and more, we offer a 10% discount.

• Flower tributes for special occasions - we respect that it is important for your loved ones to be remembered on a special day and will do our upmost best to accommodate this and ensure their tribute is laid on that day.
• Grave tidy up & planting - though we use weather conditions to guide our grave tidy up & planting visits, we will always take particular date requests into consideration and do our best to accommodate them.

On completion of the service we will email you with a summary of work undertaken, any comments and, attach digital images (of before and afters).

• Grave care undertaken - please pay via online banking.
• Plant / Memorial Bouquet Purchases - please could you purchase online and deliver to Colin. We can happily provide links to trusted local plant suppliers.